Sponge bath it is.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
