I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
