I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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