Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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