you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
