The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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