Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
