Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
