Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
