Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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