mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
