i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
