quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
His hands were made for my vagina.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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