i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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