normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
