Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
