Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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