i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
