that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
