fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
