Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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