I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
