I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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