I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
