So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
