i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
