based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
