Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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