i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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