I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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