I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
