Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
