I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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