I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
