they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
