you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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