Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
