i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
