SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
