do herpes really smell.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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