So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
