I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
