Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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