She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
im on a boat
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