Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
