it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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