My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
