Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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