I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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