Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
