Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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