A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
